Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. I don’t know who said this and when and I don’t have any enthusiasm to search for it but I really found her interesting and beautiful. I don’t know how to define beauty, I found beautiful flower but it may not be beautiful to other. She was the type of the girl I was searching for, all with smartness and good heart but….
But I am so sad it all ended with but…. In Hindu mythology there are thousands of God and among them one God Krishna had lots of girlfriends but stories says he married to eight or nine wives. Anyway I am not talking about Krishna or his girlfriends/wifes what I mean to say is, he had several girlfriends just because he found best character in one of the girl and he hooked up with her just for that particular character. Even novel Radha tells something about it. Similarly I found something interesting, some intruding things, some mesmarizing about her but at the end I didnot like Krishna, it was not the end for the better future of mine and may be for her too.
Our eyes had the conversation thousand times, I would exactly know when she called me by her heart and she too can feel my heart call. When I chanted her name in my heart silently, she would look at me even though she was so busy in her task. I was unable to give it a name. It was love, infatuation or something else or just a random search for a beutiful person. But I was so tranqualized, so hypnotized by her, by her beauty, by her behaviour, by her attitude. She could be the perfect girl that my mother was searching for me but finally I decided to let her go.
For a moment I thought I can spend a whole life with her but for the another moment I thought how can I spend my rest of life with her. I thought of a flower and some bugs out there. I could not figure out whether they are dead or live. At the moment I found me in them. How can a beautiful flower kill the bugs or how can dead bugs lie in the beutiful flower or did the bugs just took drugs and enjoying the moment.
I had found something in her and she had found something in me but that something was different thing for both of us.We both knew we have great future ahead in life and we both were searching something in our life but we thought we couldnot be each others something. It was the matter of time. My mind still thinks of her and her beauty but also finally I decided we will not be the perfect couple.
Dedicated to S.
Flower photographs were taken in Dhading district