Am I still remembering her!!!!!!

Dedicated to Ellen Lai from Taiwan

I don’t hate you and I don’t know how to say it, this time just feel that I am saying all this is for your good reason.

For my good reason, and I don’t know the reason. What a shit!!!!

Whatever! However!

Today I just missed her desperately. Sometimes a person becomes no one at the end and symbols nothing to your life future but also they are remembered forever. They put some inscription in the book of our life that it becomes almost impossible to forget them. We don’t remember them always but whenever we remember them we remember them so bitterly, badly and hardly.

After the event has taken place it becomes hard to forget them for some time but time becomes the best medicine and we don’t remember them every time if we understand the situation and love our life and surrounding more. Yes after some interval of time we don’t spend our time to remember them but we cannot forget them as we coincide with the similar situation or see same like person or if we don’t anything to do then our mind become active to remember that past incident or situation or person

This time I am desperately remembering her. My two hemisphere of the brain started quarreling at each other.

Right part of brain: I remember her

Left part of brain: she don’t remember u then what’s the use of remembering, it should be two sided so stop being yourself humiliated

Right part of brain: Don’t be stupid you should express your feeling whatever she thinks, you should make your mind clear and flawless

Left part of brain:  I don’t want to tell her that I am remembering her or just say that oh hi how you are doing. Sometimes we should just respect their personal feeling.

Right part of brain: life is easy and make it easy, express your feeing. Enjoy the facts and everything around you, just express your opinion and feelings

Left part of brain:  sometimes it’s better to let not talk

Right part of brain: what are you in this earth for!!! why do you meet the persons!!


Simple way of living
Simple way of living

She was from one of the city of Nepal. She had come to capital Kathmandu to visit and enjoy the valley. She was with her three other friends. I don’t know how I got coincidence to be in touch with her. Actually I had lots of work at home and I had lots of preparation to be done but I went to a receive her, to assist her to move in and around the different parts of the Kathmandu valley. Actually those were the friends friend, he had called me and I had told if I got free I will be there but later he insist me to be a part and I cannot say no to any friends.

The first day I am impressed with her, I talked with my friend.  I shard to my friend that she is beautiful. We concluded that she is the most beautiful among them. The next day my friend found someone else more beautiful but I happened to be in love with her and her simplicity. I again shared with my friend and on our talk we found she looks just like one of our singer s. On the next day I told her that she looks just like the singer s. she was happy. (One part of brain just asked me if she was acting of being happy and the next responded she was really happy because she shared with the other three friends and next part of the brain said it does not matter with all this at this time)

On the next day I watched her, helped her to move to the different parts of the valley and I felt like sharing my felling of love towards her, I knew she will go after few days and there is  no any longer relation with her but I felt like I should speak my heart. I tried but I became so busy to other works that I could not talk to her and I took the help of social site Facebook. I felt sad that I could not talk to her directly. I managed time the next day and talked to her and said the fact is true and I really loved you.  Soon she along with her three other friend had to return, at the end day I told her that I will be missing you.

How did she react!!!

She was really simple girl I ever had met, she was beautiful, a bit naughty and mostly frank and friendly  she felt sad at the end before leaving Kathmandu, she had pat on my chest as I said  I loved you; nothing more to tell about her, she is the lovey girl.

Yes, the world is really small but I knew from the beginning that we would never ever meet again, she shares different cultural background, language and I other but also I could not stop my heart to tell her that I loved her. Sometimes I good memory is enough.

It would be wonderful!!! Wow I had done those thing at that time!! Oh we had been so close and best friends at that time!!!  We had such a great feeling!!!! Life is a memory, I wanted a good memory

On god!!!  she forget the jacket. I cannot wear that and I don’t like to keep it. I should send it but I don’t have her address. And I talked to friend and he told to ask her address and send it

On shit!!! she has unfriended to me!!! I just knew!!!! I could not speak a word!!!!
I feel like crying!!!
I messaged her. I had to give her jacket. I asked her address she gave it, next day I sent her jacket, I asked her why she unfriended me.

I don’t hate you and I don’t know how to say it, this time just feel that I am saying all this is for your good reason.

For my good reason, and I don’t know the reason. What a shit!!!! I feel like crying!!!

I talked to my friends especially to the girls to get feeling and way of thinking of girls and none of them satisfied me with their answers, I still remember some of them said long distance relation are not possible, we are in Nepal not in America and thanks to some of them like m. a. s. k. for wonderful chitchat.

I did not try to disturb her since then. I have many friends and a good friends (I don’t like to be aggressive as her as she had said that she has enough friends to take care about her as I had asked how are you feeling as you were not feeling good while leaving during the jacket address conversation). And I have some of the good girl friends too whom I share many things and some of them know about this incident. But she is the one whom I told I love you.

To share the exact fact, actually I never believed in these three golden words and I always felt like we should have mutual sharing of every things and the relation will go on, sharing caring and loving,, if she got lost on the way she is not meant for you.  But at that time I felt from the heart like I should say it and I said it.

I still remember she is the first one whom I told love you and it was with all feeling and from the heart.

I remember one of my best friend  r. telling me you never tried to believe or say the word from the heart but when you tried to believe the beauty of the word and said it….!!!!!!!!!!

Today we lots of boys and girls are in the room and sharing about our most memorable incidents and almost all of them were about the first love affair and the first happenings. I told some stories but in my heart I felt like crying I desperately remembered e. whom I called s.

Though it does not matter now and will not matter anytime but also I missed s. and will miss e. a lot……


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